Quasar Boy and the Shortwave Scratch
2 out of 5
Fucking singer-songwriters. It’s not often you get such a soul-crushingly miserable collection of songs from a one-man band. Of course, Quasar Boy isn’t your typical man. Born on bismuth crystal planet Aleeon-26 and raised on pure nitrogen before finally settling on New Earth last decade, adapting to a 79% nitrogen atmosphere has been the least of Quasar’s struggles, as documented in this glorious testament to the monumental whininess of the pseudo-human soul.
“I was short of breath yeah / But losing all I had left / And watching the machines rise / Was like poison creeping through my nanofiber-enforced veins” he bleats on “How I Became (The Cyborg I Am Today).” On “Passive-Aggressive Ode #39” he explores the philosophy of the blunted steak knife amidst a four-dimensional background of strings and quiet drum-machine. The one saving grace of this self-pitying little outing is that Quasar plays all his own instruments, from electric zither to the rather impressive Mind-Misery-Keyboard-Interface pioneered by songwriter-bot Nick Drake. Largely forgettable, yet will no doubt do well on the charts, as Quasar has the teen cyborg market cornered.